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新托福寫作真題解析

發布時間:2020-06-21 01:12:55瀏覽次數:19文章來源:培頓教育
導讀:托福寫作要想獲得高分,那么托福寫作的例文一定要多看過寫,1 是要找到解題點。2 而是要從中學會寫作方法與手法。今天給大家來來一篇托福寫作的例文,希望對正在考托福的您有所幫助。

托福寫作要想獲得高分,那么托福寫作的例文一定要多看過寫,1.是要找到解題點。2.而是要從中學會寫作方法與手法。今天給大家來來一篇托福寫作的真題,希望對正在考托福的您有所幫助。托福獨立寫作題目:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Today, children spend too much time on technological products. In fact, playing with simpler toys or playing outside with friends is better for children’s development.

 

新托福寫作真題解析

寫作范文

Introduction 

[第一句話,要一下子就切進主題,不要套大話] Today, children find fun from playing technological products, such as smartphones and computers. [內容順延,上一句說孩子玩兒什么,接下來就對應說孩子不玩兒什么,正好把題目給出的信息交代完整] They also show no interest in simpler toys or in playing outdoors with their peers. [然后,表明自己的觀點 / 立場] As a matter fact, these uninteresting toys or activities develop their intellect, mentality and sociability.

Body 

我們首先看一段【學生習作】Children can learn a lot about interacting with others during their outdoor play. By playing outside, they will make new friends, share their ideas, and do something they cannot do when facing technological products. What's more, these activities can not only improve their sociability, but also build their characters, foster good qualities. Take my younger sister as an example. When she is playing outside with children at her age, we are always surprised to find that she becomes generous and openhanded. However, when she is staying at home, playing computer games. she shows aggressiveness and selfishness. 我們的評價是:[內容還不錯,信息的流暢度acceptable:信息組織和邏輯安排不錯,措辭粗糙。] 就著這位學生的思路,我們整理一下內容和措辭 → Children can learn a lot during outdoor activities. Playing outdoors, [動詞分詞前置,作“條件 / 方式”狀語] they usually do not play alone and instead interact with people of their age. The interaction is favorable to their mental and social development, fostering their social skills and consciousness of others [動詞分詞前置,作“伴隨”狀語]. When they play technological products, they are less likely to have the chance to develop these qualities. Take my younger sister as an example. She is found to be less selfish when she plays outdoors with other children in the neighborhood than when she plays electronic games alone on the computer. Unlike [引導狀語,做比較] her in the setting of games, [然后可選擇對狀語里的名詞作修飾] where she shows a lot of excessive competitiveness, she is generous and willing to share the recreational facilities with other children. [措辭不需要“很高級”,比“粗糙”好一些就很不錯]

Also, [行文脈絡的設計技巧,先讓步] those who would challenge my position may argue that [總是需要有點“套話”才心安,是吧] technological products promote children’s intellectual development. This is because they think that children’s mind is highly active when children appear to be calculating and solving mysteries. Those “difficult” games create a delusion [這里故意把反方對于科技游戲的誤解說成“幻想”,是一種措辭] that children work out the difficulties on their own. [讓到這里,夠了,趕緊轉著反駁] As a matter of fact, those games cannot do the magic. Children just follow the developers’ plots [“(故事)情節”] and take the pre-set steps rather than think their own thoughts [習語:“有自己的想法”].

[接下來講自己的立場的道理] Instead, the simple forms of those toys develop children’s imagination and creativity. Children may be able to create something big with simple toys–bigger thinking beyond the simplicity of the toys [這個“同位語”是內容哈上的關鍵之一], because the “blanks” [這里用“空白”這樣的措辭,去描述“簡單玩具”的特點是給孩子的想象力和創造力留了空間] are left for children to fill with their ideas [這個原因是這個段落立論部分的關鍵信息]. For example, LEGO may be the least complex toy that does not seem to have any intricacy [“錯綜復雜(這種情況)”] at all. However, it is the rudimentary [“基礎的”] form, in which the toy gives space for children’s talents [這里對應前面的“blanks”,直接寫成了直白的表達:“給孩子的才智留了空間], that sparks off [“激發才智”] children. When the simple pieces are put together into a toy car or any structure, children may not be simply assembling a vehicle or a building but may be making a tremendous invention behind which is their sparkle [“才智”].

Conclusion 

in conclusion, the time today’s children spend on technological products is in excess of [be in excess of的短語:“超過xxx”] the reasonable amount. Hopefully, children would play with simpler toys or play outside with their peers, as the key benefits are stated above.

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